Changes in Me

I should be sleeping, it's 11:01 PM on a work night but my head won't rest. Over the past few weeks I have heard story after story of people killing themselves.

A brother, a husband, a son, and a mother.

 All different families none of them tied together. I look at the people they left behind. I look into the eyes of a friend who wishes she would have made that call just to say "hi" and reminisce for awhile. I see the little boy who will try his best to become a strong man after seeing his mother in a way no child should. My heart breaks. I think of each of these families and I wonder why? Why so many? Why and how could they do that to the ones they love? Did they have no heart? I can't imagine NOW , life being so horrible that you could not bare to live it. But then I again I have a very good support system.

I too felt there was a time I was at the end of my rope. I was depressed and found it very easy to avoid most people. I called a friend pouring out my heart, not knowing that she was in her own tailspin of depression. My heart sank when I found out not long after our conversation she tried (NOT SUCCEEDING THANK GOD) in taking her own life.

In the past I have been a pretty selfish person. Wanting to have more, more, more! I wanted all the finer things jewelry, fine handbags, and so much more. But it seems now there are changes in me. I want to make myself a better person all around. I want to surround myself with people who truly care about me, not what they can get out of me. I want to help those who have less than I do and instead of buying for myself I find myself buying for others. I want people to look at me and see the POSITIVE. I know there are and will be days that it may fade away, I want to try and be at my best everyday, because life is too short and I want to find MY GLORY.

I have learned so much from my job. I use to live in this fairytale land. I believed all parents were just like me and every child had a good but simple life.  I mean I know there are those kids that are spoiled and I knew there were a few that might have problems at home. But reality slapped me in the face my first day of working in a public school. There are kids who have more to deal with, than I do in a year. Teachers must have been built with the heart of Saints....... It truly is a job that I could not bear to do, so for that I am thankful that I have some great friends who are true HEROES in my book.

So think about this if you will, has someone been on your mind? Have you been out of touch with that friend for a while? Maybe it's family that you haven't spoken too in years? Take time  MAKE TIME to show them you care. Life is too short to live with regrets don't let stubbron pride get in the way!