It all started a few weeks ago when I started feeling bad. I had stomach trouble, nothing serious but I just felt YUCKY! Mike brought me something from McDonald's and I didn't even want to touch it and for once I began to wonder if that was the culprit. But I forced it down as I didn't want to upset, or hurt my husbands feelings. I think that was the first time I heard the voice in my head say FAST FOOD!
I don't want to think about how much we spend in fast food restaurants every week! I know we are there at least 5 times a week. Why not it's simple, its not overly pricey, and well it made me feel good. As I pullout of my neighborhood, depending on what way I turn you will find several FAST FOOD joints! Here are a few just so you can get an idea these are all within a few miles of my home!
McDonald's, Burger King, Bojangles (Fried Chicken) Popeye's (Fried Chicken) Taco bell, Chick-Fil-a, Arby's Zaxby's, The Sheik, Dairy Queen, Captain D's (Fish) There are probably more but these are the ones that I can think of within at least a 3 mile radius! So why not take the easy roads right to them?
Well here is why I am always feeling cruddy, I need to lose weight, and my life is not what I want it to be because of both of these things. I want to FEEL better. I want to LOOK better.
In the beginning of our Recovery meetings I felt I was ready to pick up a chip. I wanted to get healthier so I stood up there with pride quoting Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. Then I never looked back I might have tried for a few days to "change" but nothing stuck. I was trying to eat healthier, exercise and just makes better health choices. It was overwhelming. My husband loves me through his cooking. He makes these heaping plates of yummy food that very few people could resist including me. The problem was as I said before I would have already downed a huge meal from a fast food place. How embarrassing. I have said before people look at me and say "no way you weigh that much!" But I do, and now as of my last (almost) dr's appt I realize I have gained 10 pounds.....it just makes me sick! My belief is now that the illness was both mental and physical!
So Friday night I took another blue chip, a chip of surrender! To surrender this Fast Food Addiction to God. I was humble this time I didn't speak about it, only sharing after words with a few friends who asked, but after that didn't really talk about it. Saturday I barely thought of eating much less eating at a Fast Food place. It was a busy day with a yard sale and hosting children's church at Journey Church. By the time we were coming home I was exhausted. I barely stayed awake to eat dinner that Mike fixed.
THEN CAME SUNDAY
We had errands to run and as we drive around it was as if every fast food restaurant was calling my name. I felt like I needed blinders to keep me from seeing them. I was so tempted. It made me question what I was doing, it made me try to justify the things in each place that I wanted. Most of all it made me crazy! I was irritable, to say the very least. Then I thought about Mike and his addiction. How he wasn't particular to a brand of beer, it didn't matter as long as he could get that FEELING! I began to realize that is what I was looking for THAT FEELING. With each bite I would feel fuller.....but of what? Why was it so satisfying to eat that stuff? I really don't know and I can't answer that question. But I do feel so proud that I did not cave and have Mike stop by one of those places.
So now comes the hard part. I thought I wanted to do this by cutting it out with the exception of once or twice a month. But after really considering what I am doing, I realize I am not strong enough to make good choices so this for now must be a permanent thing. Absolutely no fast food with the exception of Subway. I know it will get easier with time and I promise to keep you updated with all results an my hope is that you will encourage me and check in on me from time to time to see how its going. :)
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