A Step in the right Direction

Little did I know that simple steps to enter a contest on a local television network would light a fire like no other. I saw the commercial for a family styled "get healthy" competition. If chosen you would be given a personal trainer, a nutritionist, and lots of other help. Well a few weeks ago I received a call saying we were one of the top 12 families. I was so excited. The next week we interviewed and a few days later got the email saying we weren't chosen as one of the top 5 families to compete. I was very heavy hearted to say the least, it was the day after we found out Mike would be leaving for deployment again. So it was another blow to an already weakened state of mind.

For a brief period I felt defeated, it seemed so unfair especially after seeing some of the families that interviewed when we did. I had to suck it up though and realize it was not in God's plan for us. I can be a very emotional person and when I want something so bad and I don't get it I feel like life is unfair.... not sure where that came from but it is something I want to work on. I know in my heart there are people in this world that have it way worse, but for some reason when I am going through one of my let downs or disappointments, I began to feel like "why don't I deserve this?"

Why don't good things happen to me? I am a child of God. I do my best to lead a Godly life, and although I am not perfect and I am not without sin that is the way God made me. He knew all about me before I was born. He knew what my strong points would be and he knew my faults. He knew I would have my doubts about everything and he knew at times I would forsake him and then come crawling back begging for him to forgive my words of frustration.

I read a quote on a facebook page today and it hit me in the GUT! " If you were given a dollar for every positive thing you said and a dollar was taken away for every negative thing you said would you be rich or poor?" WOW I took this one step further and added thoughts. Negative and Positive. The sad thing was I realized some days I would be rich and others I would be so poor..... like probably negative dollars poor. I have to realize that I have everything I could ask for. I have 4 beautiful and most days wonderful children. I have husband who loves me more than I can even fathom. And for the most part I have my health. With all all of that being said there is plenty of room for improvement.

My heart is as big as Texas, probably because that is where I was born? Who knows really? I try to help out anyone and everyone I can. Sometimes my heart clouds my head and I try to make everyone happy. Without ever thinking of myself.

Well the day I entered into that contest was the first time I thought of myself in a long time. My struggle with obesity is bringing me down and seeing my mom lose over 100 pounds has been hard for me. I felt left behind. I can not blame anyone but my self as I made the choices to get me where I am today and that makes it that much harder to go back. But I honestly feel like entering this lit a fire in me I have never seen before. I want it more than ever for me and my daughter who is also over weight.

Before we even got word that we were not chosen we had started to make changes and started exercising. We started walk/jogging around our neighborhood. It feels great to get active. The hardest part will be eating. I was never a breakfast person and as many times as you here it is the most important part of your day. It sets the tone for the rest of the day. If you eat? What do you eat? What is the best fuel choice to start your motor running first thing in the morning? I can fill in the other parts easily its always the beginning that is the hardest.

Another obstacle will be in the near future when Mike has to leave again. Cooking for the kids, can be well boring, they would be happy with Ramen noodles and a sandwich. Fixing elaborate meals that could just get wasted seems so time consuming. This is why I want to get them to participate in the kitchen. I am hoping that with them seeing and helping create our meals will help them to appreciate them more. Mike even came up with the idea of growing a small garden in the backyard so they can see what they are eating grow. Of course when we approached the kids with the idea they wanted to grow a BANANA tree... What the heck? Of all things.... something that would 20 years to grow! Had to laugh at that one!

One thing I would like to do is come up with a chart. A way to keep track of time spent doing physical activities. Minutes spent on the Wii fit are charted and show progress. We as a family watch to much TV. I want to turn it off and get active. It's hard though.

My 2 older children are playing ball this year and I am hoping this will help get the rest of us active. At the place where my son plays ball there is a wonder walking path around the park. So Mondays and Thursdays would be good walking nights. I have also signed our kids up to participate in Shannon Miller's Marathon for kids.

http://www.shannonmillerfoundation.com/marathon.htm

It really gets the whole family involved and it will be an achievement they can be proud of when they complete the final leg of the marathon.

I am proud of the choices I have made recently and I will overcome this. I will do my best to help myself and Lauren to live a healthier life. I want to pay it forward. I want happiness to shine throughout my life everyday and for those negatives that are buried deep within me to become positives. This journey begins with me and a step in the right direction.