Frustration sets in.

Sometimes I believe the hardest part about being a spouse of a military man are the ever changing decisions that have to do with his career. I have never understood how someone can go from such a high to a low. The politics that go on there are frustrating enough for them, but when they bring it home the stress levels hit the roof.

You may not know this but in the "old days" men were told they were married to their sea bag, and if it didn't come in the sea bag they didn't need it. Including wives! They are still told to this day "loose lips sink ships." Both quotes just rub me the wrong way. I honestly feel the married man in the military has more to offer and more to work for than those who are single just starting out. Most of the young men who aren't married live it up in bars, they have no one to go home to at night and so therefore, they don't see a problem going to work a little hung over the next morning. The Married man goes home to a family who depends on him to make good choices and provide for them. He wants to make the best of his work place and the best of his day so be can come home and be the father and husband he is suppose to be. But what happens when (work) doesn't appreciate him. There are times when Mike brings his work home and his stresses and it breaks my heart. When you know your spouse is a hard working, good guy, you hate to see him get the shaft.

This week has been crazy, with stress levels hitting a high. On Friday before the the Labor Day weekend we got the news we had been waiting for! Mike was chosen for the orders to stay here in our hometown. This made for a great holiday weekend. Mike went into work after the long weekend, and there was a note left on his desk to fill out paperwork for deployment. WHAT? Are you serious? He was told he wouldn't go if he got these orders? So now, there is this looming decision to be made hovering over our heads. A new waiting game to play. They seem to never end. It's so hard on him. Not to mention us. Deployment is a few short months away, is it too much to ask to get a straight answer as to whether my husband will be on one of those planes? Two days this week I have woke up with a horrible headache. I can feel the stress in my neck and my back. Mike and I have both had our moments of snapping at each other this week. It's not a fun way to live. It is one of those reasons that retirement looks better and better. Of course I know in the real world we need to be able to make it, but if he isn't happy and isn't recognized for all his hard work how can you make him stay longer than his 20 year stint.

All I can do is try to be there for him, and help him understand that no matter what God has a plan for him and his career. So Mike, if you are reading this, I know this has been a hard week. I know it will get better and I have been super grouchy. :( It is so hard to hear the stress in your voice, and to see you worry about the future. Especially, when you are never phased by the little things. You are my rock, and when my rock seems to be crumbling my heart aches for it. Please accept my apology for this rocky week we have had and know, my love for you can't be measured. IT WILL GET BETTER! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I love you sweetheart!