I'm the Only one

I don't expect you to understand. I really don't expect you to care. Because as it stands now I am the only one. I am the only one who knows how I feel and that leaves a less than desirable feeling in my heart. I miss being around people, I miss being able to walk out of my front door and say hi to my neighbors. I miss living.

For months now I feel like I have been a clam in its shell waiting for my next chance to take a breath. When given the opportunity to get out I take it. Even if it might put me in a very awkward, uncomfortable position. I will not be intimidated. With that being said I have no friends here, this neighborhood which I thought would be my future home only makes me madder by the day. The whispers and the stares, drive me insane. So I find that I take the easy route and just stay inside. It makes me sad, it makes me irritable, but I don't know what else to do. We are trying to save money, so the things that other friends do I can't. I don't have a job during the summer so making the dollars stretch  is not very easy. I know I am blessed to have the friends I do. They always make me feel better when I am down, I just wish they were the ones who surrounded me now.

I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling alone!