Am I the only one who feels Pain?

I prayed for the day of her return. I thought it could be the way it once was and it was for awhile. Then she dumped me............. again? How can friends walk away and not think twice? I grieved and moved on. Now it seems I am in the same situation again and I don't understand how I get here. How do I end up with people in my life that only act like they care, until it's not easy for them. Why do people just avoid situations instead of trying to talk it out and fix where they went wrong? Apparently, even an apology is not enough. People take things too seriously---->; including me! There are times I have jumped off the deep end over remarks someone made, or even things that weren't said. How did I become so sensitive?

Why is that I want to give everyone else all of me and in return I get the big pile of poo?

So my own thoughts lead me to ask myself am I a Narcissist?

Here is a definition just in case you need one....

The narcissist is described as being excessively pre-occupied with issues of personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity.

I guess sometimes I feel the underlined. But as for vanity I could care less. I want to lose weight and I am working on that, heck who isn't? I don't care about power, or living in a fancy house. I don't need to feel powerful,. I just want to feel wanted, needed, and even cared for. I have always been the one to bring gifts to my friends on their birthdays and try to help out when someone needs a babysitter. I try to give encouragement whenever I can. But sometimes I just don't feel like it even matters. It feels like when ever they walk out the door they will forget what I have done. I know some people are thinking you shouldn't do it for the reward. But isn't that the golden rule or at least one of them? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?

So why do I do, and get the opposite of what I have done? I have recently made new friends and I am so excited to have all of them in my life, but life happens and I can't help but wonder what a year from now will look like. I know I shouldn't stress now about what will come later but I am becoming so closed minded when it comes to friendships. I guess the older I get the more I long for those friends that everyone else seems to have. Those girls that go to the movies together, spend their birthdays together, the ones who do the monthly GNO's. I don't miss high school and all the drama, but I do miss girl talk and looking forward to seeing your friends.

Can anyone help me? Has anyone had experience with this?