A new School Year

A new school year has begun and it is bittersweet. First of all my little girl is growing up. My first born daughter went on to Middle school this year and everyday I am seeing her mature and turn into a beautiful young woman. My Only son is going into the 8th grade and it seems unreal. I was fortunate enough to keep my job and I have never loved it more.

Some people would call me crazy! I have had parents tell me numerous times I couldn't do what you do. But the sad thing is they don't see the rewards. All they see is me in a cafeteria trying to keep an estimated 100 students at a time in order with 2 other Para-professionals. They don't see me in a classroom working with children who struggle with ADD,  ADHD, or Autism. They don't see how rewarding it is to see these kids who struggle so much finally get that twinkle in their eyes when they get it right!

I think in every  profession there are people who just do the JOB. They do it because it pays. Unfortunately, some don't see the joy their job could bring them. How it can be fruit for the soul. That is why it is so hard to make decisions about my OUR future right now.

Most people who follow along know how much I fell in love with our neighborhood. They know all about the drama that unfolded after being here for a few short years. Now the time is drawing near for the lease to end (5 short months) and I find myself uncertain of where life's journey will take us next.
Part of me wants to leave this side of town and never look back and part of me wants to stay right where I am, well at least in another house near this area. But only while my kids are in their current school. Even the middle school is OK. But the future is wide open and I know one thing for sure I do not want my kids going to the high school they are slated for........ So what do you do? If we moved I could commute to the school and the 2 younger ones could go there....... If we moved too far away to do that would I be able to get another job in the school? My guess is probably not....... All the uncertainty is mind boggling. The closer to the date the more my mind goes crazy. There are so many dynamics to the situation.

My family will always come first and foremost.

But my heart is also burdened because just when I thought I would give up on having friends and having people in my life period. I found a new group of FRIENDS! People I could be myself around and not have to act a certain way around. I am truly blessed to have made new friends before it was too late. Before I buried myself in a pit of loneliness.

I wish the answer would fall out of the sky like a drop of rain and guide me to the right answers. But for now I just have to pray, and hope for the best.