Well the New Year came

With lots of change.

We are happily settled in our new home. We are very happy with our location. Life is to short to dwell on the small stuff, living in the past won't help me move forward. Therefore it was and is time to move on.

Over a year ago I started a part-time job. It seemed like the perfect fit for me. It brought me closer to my children, working in their school. I blogged early on about how perfect it was. There were so many parts of it that suited me perfectly. It was one of those things that kinda fell into my lap. I gave it my all. I even stayed a few hours longer almost everyday to volunteer in some shape or form. In my heart I never really wanted to leave, but it became more evident as time went on that I wouldn't last. There are so many reasons I wanted to stay and in the end it would be a trip to the doctor that would help me to make that final decision. 

Life is hard enough without adding extra stress. It seems no matter what you do there are times you will never live up to the standards of others. I wish I could grasp that.... wrap my head around it and truly understand why people will always be there to tear you down, or at least try too.

I guess what it really came down too was the fact that I had too many irons in the fire. Finding the next "perfect" place to live. Finding decent schools for the kids. Then the big move would come. So many i's to be dotted and t's that had to be crossed. In the end it made me realize it was all too much. Maybe if I had taken some time off and took care of one thing at a time things wouldn't have gotten so bad..... or at least that is what I would like to think. But like I said it was the doctor that helped me to make up my mind. On Monday, Feb 6th I had an appointment with my doctor, after having a serious talk about my blood pressure he increased my medication to double the dose of which I was on. This was the second time my meds had been increased since I began working at the school. It was truly an eye opening experience. My heart, one of my most vital organs was overworked while I was underpaid and under appreciated. :) Mostly by children who don't understand the purpose of our being there. They think you are there only to fetch for them and to be their personal verbal punching bags.

As I drove home from the appointment I knew I wanted needed to make a change.So I walked straight into the office and explained my concerns. I thought a change could be made. Unfortunately that answer was No. All this time I thought I was doing the job of a person with a certain title, but as it turns out I was just a PART TIMER. Apparently they get very little respect... as over the past few weeks I have had people tell me "they didn't have to hire you" "you are a part timer they can do what ever they want with you" to which I say "obviously not because they couldn't help me." To say I was sad, frustrated, disappointed, would be an understatement.

Please don't think I am a braggy person when I say this because that is not the way I want to come off..... but here it goes..... does a Part timer typically get voted for Employee of the Year after working somewhere for less than a year? This was something I was very proud of until now. After going to the boss with a health concern I was told no arrangements could be made for me and "I knew what I was signing up for when I applied for the job." Ouch!  That still has a sting to it.  I don't think anyone could know how that place would affect their health after 2 1/2 hours everyday, in a cafeteria of 100+ very loud children. It's the equivalent of pushing a mower for the same amount of time with no hearing protection. Could you do that? I will say til the day I die it was a very unfair situation to put anyone in. No one else in the school deals with that much noise for that long. The other ladies who worked along side me either had a lunch break or got off before lunch duty was over.

In the end there was one offer, to cut my hours way back. Which would not be worth it. I would rather spend the time at my children's school volunteering than to make a check just to spend it on gas and other driving expenses. For those of you reading this I want you to know my heart was so attached to my work and the school. The friends I met there are some of greatest I have ever known. The teachers my children had well, it brings tears to my eyes knowing the younger ones will probably never know them as their own. This place taught me about, humility, forgiveness, and that I do want to be something other than a house wife. I really believe that I would like to work with children and maybe even adults with learning disabilities. It seems I have learned more from their successes than they have. "My Boys" as I call them will forever be in my heart.

So even though I know this is not good-bye, it will be hard to walk away and while the door closes behind me I have to believe another one will soon be opening!