Is needy a bad thing?

 I am sure it can be. In fact I am sure I was one of those bad/needy people. Still can be at times. I know I have spoken before about being Needy. I have been told before I am too needy. I'd like to think that ship has sailed. I will admit I was very needy in the past. But who wouldn't be in the situation I was in. My day consisted of doing my own thing during the day and my husband would come home and begin to drink. I am sure some days that started before he even got home. I despised the smell on his skin. I hated the taste of beer on his lips. Maybe that is why at the time I flocked to those people who needed me. He surely didn't. I could only do so much with the kids before it was time to put them to bed. That is why I fell in love with summer time. The kids and I could stay up and hang out as long as we wanted too just being ourselves having fun. I felt like a kid again with little to no worries during that time.

As a person who has walked in the shoes of needing love, attention, and affection I can honestly say we don't realize we are being such a pain at the time. It's not our goal to drive everyone away. It's not our goal to make everyone mad. All we can see is what we want and that is to be and feel loved. I didn't feel the love for many years. So I turned to the Internet. It is now such a hard addiction to break. I spend most of the day liking things on Facebook and commenting on peoples posts who rarely even talk to me. WHY? because some things haven't changed. As much as I love my husband when you have been a certain way for several years it is hard to change. That includes me. I have only been on social media but for maybe 10 years now.... wow that seems like so much longer when you spell it out like that. :)

Anyway the reason I am writing this post is because when I got married I thought I would be fulfilled with his love, but he filled himself with alcohol from day one. I in the beginning shopped and spent money. Then later I moved on to the social media searching for the fulfillment that I needed. We have both been searching for so long for something. Now that my husband has been sober for nearly 8 months he is turning back to me for that fulfillment. The sad part is I am still in Internet mode searching for what he didn't give me all those years. I am not going to lie it becomes a sore spot at times and I want to tell you this is my addiction. Some people think you can only be addicted to drugs or alcohol, but I am here to tell you there are so many more things that can take your joy and keep you separated and divided from gaining the JOY in God. In my writings before I have spoken of JOY. Not sure where I picked up but along the way it stuck! Jesus Others Yourself! When you put Jesus first in your life you will want to put others ahead of yourself. Then you will in turn take care of yourself. When you focus on God your whole life changes, you are not focused on the me me me's anymore. Your desire to do and be someone better is overpowering and at the same time empowering! I am so thankful that God continues to make these revelations in my life and that I continue to grow daily.

So for those who don't understand why your wife, sister, mom, or friends can be so needy think of their life think of what they may be going through. It's really not all about them and what they need. It's probably more about what they are lacking in their life and what they want. There is a difference between want and need. Although you may not be able to fulfill all their wants you can always pray for them. I am surrounded by so many people who will stop everything they are doing and pray for me. I have never had that before and it is amazing. I know I can call people and get prayers anytime I need them and not just see a post when I am struggling saying "praying for you." One of the most amazing feeling is hearing someone else call upon the lord for you and pray for your needs. I am thankful to have people like that in my life now. I am truly blessed!