Artist at heart

I believe I must be a true artist at heart. I see Art in everything.... and I do mean everything. I could gaze at the sky for hours and see as much beauty as I do staring at the ceiling. That probably sounds silly but there are times I wake up in the morning and stare at the ceiling. The popcorn ceiling becomes the canvas and my eyes connect the dots. I see a face, an elephant, and even a blooming flower.

My husband and I had a lovely date the other evening. We stopped off at a Starbucks on the way home and we both had to take a bathroom break. I went in and took a seat. There I noticed little scraps of toilet paper on the floor. They were no bigger than the palm of my hand. I studied them as I do every little thing. It didn't take long for one of the papers to take shape. :) It was a profile of a man. It could have been on the flip side of a coin. I finished up my business and came out of the bathroom giggling and my husband wondered what was making me smile. I shared with him my little piece of art I found in the bathroom. I tried to take him in to show him but he refused to go to the ladies room!

I believe this is what they mean by stopping to smell the roses. Sometimes we take for granted the things around us, counting them as small meaningless moments in time. Whether it is a passing cloud, a moment spent with a friend/family member, or even a quiet moment spent alone that no one else will understand. More times than none we hear people say I wish I had said this or I wish I had done this when a loved one passes on. What if each day we lived with no regrets, we knew without a doubt that when we went to bed that night those who meant the most to us knew exactly that.

Now I know that not every little thing that happens in our life is something to "think about," but I have been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about my childhood, thinking about my high school years, and thinking about being a military spouse, and thinking about the future. Its kinda scary! I was a child. I was a teen. I was a mom (still am). I was a military spouse (at least for 5 more months). Now our lives are about to go down a whole new path.

Civilian Life!

To say it is stressful is an understatement. We are not a small family. I am currently not working. Mike is not sure about his next career move. We move in February. Mike will actually retire in May. YIKES! All of these things weigh on my mind. It's hard enough without negative talk. I stress enough for everyone, without having others tell us how hard its going to be on us. We lost so much last year, but gained so much more. Our relationship with Christ has strengthened us beyond anything we could have imagined. So most days I try to put on the cheerful face and be positive but then it doesn't take long for that "One Word" I spoke of in the last blog to send me into a tail spin. It's hard but I get back up, I dust myself off and I KEEP GOING! It's what I do best. When I wanted to give up on my husband I had to continuously renew my faith in God. Day after day, month after month, year after year...... I kept going.

I know its hard. I know people care about us and don't want to see us struggle. But the truth is for the past 16 years we have struggled. We had to beg, steal, and borrow to make ends meet. Not always but there were times of great struggle. We are not proud of everything we have done, but who is? We all make bad choices in life. All I can say is had Mike not been healed and started this new life of sobriety we would be facing all of the above plus a lot more. So........ Right now I feel like I am standing on top of the mountain. I feel like I can conquer anything that comes my way. God has been with us every step of the way with many answered prayers and some unanswered. We will be ok, but as a family still intact we will be.............................

AMAZING there is no doubt about that!